Derailed... and Getting Back on the Track

Late again! my mind screams at me. You missed your blog post and you can't draw?! You're better than this! You're supposed to stay on track, keep your eye on the prize, keep your head in the game!


It's hard to do that when you've been derailed!

Recently I've been dealing with a little personal matter. It's a problem that made my anxiety level skyrocket, my nails 'magically' disappear and my stomach curl into knots. I tried drawing through it, tried my Zen music and green tea combo, played a few games on the tablet to get my mind off things... even tried sleeping more (if I could find the time for it.) But the problem was still there, much as I tried to get over it.

The Problem became a Bigger Problem, when I tried to sit down and draw and didn't have the heart to do it. I just didn't feel like drawing. Or painting. Or  doodling, even.

But when there are deadlines and books to be illustrated, this is an even bigger Bigger Problem!

How was I going to get back on track? To get my head in the game? To stop biting my nails down to bloody stumps? I had to remember that anything worth having is worth working for. I had to address the original Problem. Of course, this takes time away from my art and blogging, and my usual work pattern. But the Problem needed work so I could get some actual work done. Otherwise, I was just wasting my own precious time. My Preciousssss!


So instead of trying to drive around the Problem, my little train drove right through and attacked it! I did everything I could in my own power to make amends and right things. I did it honestly, and without trickery or cutting corners (honesty has always been my policy.) And I felt so much better when I was done! Even though the Problem was one of those Out of My Own Control sorts of things, I changed what I could control to the best of my ability. And though things didn't turn out hunky-dory, or the way I had hoped, at least I know I did my best to try and fix it. I can accept the things I cannot change, or at least learn to.

Then I winded down a bit and needed some inspiration... a little comfort. So I picked up a book, told myself not to feel bad about this guilty pleasure when my schedule doesn't usually allow for this tomfoolery, and I read for the fun of it. For the fun of it!

So I'm filling up the train with some fresh coal right now. And I'll start chugging along and speeding ahead at my usual speed. And I'm learning sometimes it's best to sit back and watch the landscape go by for a while, to enjoy the ride a little bit more, so I don't burn out. And to address problems right away when they come up, so I don't fly off the tracks.

And I think I'm going to go paint, in a little bit. :)

Being More Careful With Words

Hi There!

This morning I received an email that greatly disturbed me, in that I may have made a mistake in the way I have worded my thoughts. I am sharing this will all of you for two reasons: 1) maybe you won't have to learn through experience, like me, but through others' mistakes, and 2) to clear the air on my intentions.

Here is the email, which is written in response to my latest Goals post, (found here.) Its subject was "Standards, or Snobbery?"

"Melanie,
In your "It's a Hoot" blog, you said: “I will not be illustrating for clients’ stories intended for… e-book publishing, or print-on-demand publishing.”
So, you would not want work with the publisher Simon & Schuster (who does print-on-demand for some of its books), or the writer Aaron Shepard (who keeps his books “The Sea King’s Daughter” and “The Baker's Dozen” out before the public using print-on-demand, and so that public continues to experience the beautiful illustrations by Gennady Spirin and Wendy Edelson), or any of the hundreds of other writers and publishers whose picture e-books are purchased every day from Apple’s iBookstore and from Barnes & Noble and are enjoyed by millions of children, parents, teachers, and librarians who use their iPads or their Color Nooks.
That’s a shame."

That IS a shame! Because that was not what I meant to say. And here was my response:

"Oh no! Perhaps I mis-wrote my intentions! I will fix that right away!
What I meant was for individual authors, (like a Mom who came up with this story about some inanimate object, etc) writing little stories but not serious about the book making process, but they have a story they want to "publish" but really they should be looking towards vanity presses for their purposes. They think that a children's story is so easy and that anyone can whip one up. (Even though people make go to school, get degrees, and make actual careers of this, just as I plan to.) They aren't willing to get their stories professionally edited, or try to make it better for the reader's sake, (such as near-rhyme, etc). I have had a few contact me, and upon reading the manuscript, I would suggest here or there that they repeated themselves or the ms needs a bit of help, and they would resolutely state that the ms stays the way it is. The story is okay; the wording or pacing just needs help. Which is fine for some people, but for myself I would like to work with individuals who strive for the very best as well. 
I meant to deter some requests that tend to take a while to explain to those who aren't in the business and don't quite understand the many steps taken, and are also not willing to pay for the hard work done. I had thought it would have been a time-saver, but perhaps I am mistaken!
I also did not mean to appear snobbish in any way, truly, but to personally guarantee excellence and that I will work hard to make a book the best that it can be. All of the titles you have mentioned have authors and illustrators who hold themselves to a high standard, and that is why they have been so successful; they are good at what they do!
I'm sure you have seen, that amongst the successful, high quality stories found in the ebook stores, that there are also some not-so-shiny ones as well. Readers notice spelling and grammar mistakes, or when a story has been written or illustrated poorly. I am merely trying to assure my potential clients that I will work very hard to make our books one of the successful ones!
In addition, I truly believe in e-books and self-publishing! I have been learning as much as possible on the topic so that I will be ready to jump in when the time is right for me. (I have a story I intend to put straight on the e-book shelves, but the ms isn't up to par as of yet.) 
I didn't mean to offend anyone, and I thank you for bringing it to my attention! In your professional opinion, should I omit that whole section, or perhaps have worded it differently? What would you have said or done in my position? I apologize for the miscommunication!
Thank you again, for taking the time to share your thoughts. I value your opinion, and I hope this will not leave any ill feeling towards anyone!
Take Care,"

Now I'm curious as to know if everyone had the same thoughts on that little article? I am by no means an expert with words, (which is why we revise, Revise, REVISE!) and I had not intended to portray what Mr. Email had thought. What are your thoughts, if you have any, on how I should have handled my words?

It seems Mr. Email has the same ideas, too, because he's said some of the things I was aiming towards, but in a clearer way, here on his blog. So this was definitely a mis-communication on my part! 

Also, I thank you for riding along this bumpy ride with me! I am learning new things every day, and some of you probably wonder why I even post my mistakes. But I need to keep myself accountable, and in-check, and blogging about my ups and downs have done that very thing for me. And I want to help the Newbies like myself, learn too. So Thank You, again!

Have a great day; it's SUPER nice out where I am!