Surprises, and On Turning Thirty

Hello Friends!
Today I am writing from a TOP SECRET location... Actually, I'm on a mini getaway trip with my husband, in New Hampshire!
We came home from work last Saturday night, and after putting together a late dinner, my husband climbs up into the attic and brings down our luggage. "Pack for a few days!" he says to me.
For my thirtieth birthday, my husband, (who is awesome by the way. He does the dishes AND cooks for me.) chose to surprise me by calling us both out of work for the next few days and whisking me off to New Hampshire for some much needed R&R.
Funny how one day you think you're going to be cleaning the house and the next your find yourself getting a massage in a fancy spa!
This milestone birthday celebration happens to parallel with the feelings I have about my life goals, my career, and my art.
When asked as a child what I was going to be when I grew up, and how I was going to do that, I'd answer simply, "I'm going to be a Disney animator and I'm going to RISD!" As I grew up, I had always thought that by 30 I would have had children by now, and even own my dream house. I never thought I'd be here, on my own website, blogging about books and art, and how I'm going about making them myself. This doesn't sound as glamorous as being a Disney animator, but I wouldn't trade what I have right now for the world. And drawing repetitive animation cels doesn't sound as fun as it used to!
Funny how one day you wish you could win the Mega Millions, and the next you remember... you're already a winner.
I might not be where I thought I'd be at this time in my life. And some times I wonder, as we all do, what regrets I'll have later on. But right now, I don't regret any of the choices I've made, because they all make me who I am, and where I am, and gave me the person who is dozing next to me right now.
So I'm going to enjoy the last half hour of being in my twenties watching a silly television show by myself, next to the one I've loved since my teens, and will continue love through my thirties and on...
And three is my favorite number, anyway!
_______________________________

Melanie Linden Chan
Children's Book Illustrator
SCBWI Member
melanielindenchan.blogspot.com
melanielindenchan.com

Derailed... and Getting Back on the Track

Late again! my mind screams at me. You missed your blog post and you can't draw?! You're better than this! You're supposed to stay on track, keep your eye on the prize, keep your head in the game!


It's hard to do that when you've been derailed!

Recently I've been dealing with a little personal matter. It's a problem that made my anxiety level skyrocket, my nails 'magically' disappear and my stomach curl into knots. I tried drawing through it, tried my Zen music and green tea combo, played a few games on the tablet to get my mind off things... even tried sleeping more (if I could find the time for it.) But the problem was still there, much as I tried to get over it.

The Problem became a Bigger Problem, when I tried to sit down and draw and didn't have the heart to do it. I just didn't feel like drawing. Or painting. Or  doodling, even.

But when there are deadlines and books to be illustrated, this is an even bigger Bigger Problem!

How was I going to get back on track? To get my head in the game? To stop biting my nails down to bloody stumps? I had to remember that anything worth having is worth working for. I had to address the original Problem. Of course, this takes time away from my art and blogging, and my usual work pattern. But the Problem needed work so I could get some actual work done. Otherwise, I was just wasting my own precious time. My Preciousssss!


So instead of trying to drive around the Problem, my little train drove right through and attacked it! I did everything I could in my own power to make amends and right things. I did it honestly, and without trickery or cutting corners (honesty has always been my policy.) And I felt so much better when I was done! Even though the Problem was one of those Out of My Own Control sorts of things, I changed what I could control to the best of my ability. And though things didn't turn out hunky-dory, or the way I had hoped, at least I know I did my best to try and fix it. I can accept the things I cannot change, or at least learn to.

Then I winded down a bit and needed some inspiration... a little comfort. So I picked up a book, told myself not to feel bad about this guilty pleasure when my schedule doesn't usually allow for this tomfoolery, and I read for the fun of it. For the fun of it!

So I'm filling up the train with some fresh coal right now. And I'll start chugging along and speeding ahead at my usual speed. And I'm learning sometimes it's best to sit back and watch the landscape go by for a while, to enjoy the ride a little bit more, so I don't burn out. And to address problems right away when they come up, so I don't fly off the tracks.

And I think I'm going to go paint, in a little bit. :)

Fear of Rejection! #writing #publishing #rejection #agents

I'm still working on my research for book tie-ins and classroom activities, so that's not today's topic. (I was hoping it would be, but research is research.) Instead, we shall talk of fear *gAsp!* and rejection. *boo! hisss!*

This week I received my second agent rejection of my career's history! (Lame number, I know. There will be more.) And I'm not crying about it. I'm okay with it, actually, and I'm just relieved to know the answer, and to move on to the next agent. So I sent out my second-ever set of postcard mailers to all the awesome publishers out there, refreshed my online portfolio and I started looking for my next target agent.

Why aren't I curled up in a ball, hiding? Some people really and truly get upset, or fear the rejection. For some odd reason, I don't. I get a little anxious and excited and downright buzzed, but I'm not sad or anything. If we aren't a match, then why force it? If it's not meant to be, there's a reason. And also, I've got this reminder on my binder-of-rejections:

NO REJECTIONS = NO ONE IS SEEING YOUR WORK!

I learned this very important lesson from my friend Marlo, teacher, book editor, author, artist, and an overall talented person. She brought in her STACKS of rejection letters and shared them with us in her class. And she told us the more we send out our work and get rejected, the better the chances will be the next time we submit. So that's why I started a binder, and I want to fill it up!

Also this week, my friend Brook posted about self sabotage and procrastination, a prevention of rejection. Except it prevents other things from happening, such as getting your work out there!

And, coincidentally, this amazing tidbit was shared on Facebook among my friends:

Ira Glass quote by Sawyer Hollenshead
Original source can be found here:  http://sawyerhollenshead.com/portfolio/ira-glass-quote/  

This image led to a conversation about art, naturally:

Friend: "Wow..this really hit home with me and my design work. It's not easy being at the beginning." 

Me:  "Yeah! But it's so true, isn't it? It really helps to be aware of why we feel this way about our work! It isn't easy at the beginning, nor in the middle...and I'm guessing when we're supposed to be a 'pro' I'm betting we'll feel the same way." 

Friend:  "Ya know why it's so hard? Because it's personal. Our passion, our creativity, our ideas, are personal to us. So when there is the fear of those things not being accepted,it is a fear of not being personally accepted. And, it can be enough to paralyze. I deal with beating down the scaredy cat beast every single day." 

Me: "That is SO true! A lot of my friends deal with that too, you know. Because of this fear, many of us procrastinate or decide housework is more important, etc. See my friend's post at: deadgideons.com. And I'm not saying that I don't also feel this way, but my you know what my BIGGER fear is? People NOT seeing my work, or not seeing me for who I am. I fear more of being forgotten or lost... And if I don't put myself out there I will never be 'immortalized' by my work. My identity is so wrapped around my art and stories that I fear losing it if it isn't shared. Because if I don't share it, I'm just a waitress at a Chinese restaurant. And that is NOT all of who I am!
     Another thing I've learned is that every single one of us creative folk are on a continuous creative JOURNEY. Art is not a destination, really. You're always learning, always improving, always creating something new. I think it's important to look at it that way. Not every piece you make is set in stone. You can go back and fix it. Or toss it and make a new one. It's like an artist's life is a forest, and every once in a while it needs a fire to renew it, and it becomes lush again.
     All successful relationships have ups and downs, but it's sticking together through them that makes them blossom!"

Anyway, I thought the discussions going around this week were very important to the Creatives of the world, and it's good to share and pass along little nuggets of understanding when we find them. So if you've ever blogged, posted, wrote or thought about this topic of fear, rejection, procrastination or self-sabotage, share it with us in the comments box!

Here are a few I found just now:
http://cindylrodriguez.com/2012/02/18/rejection/
http://www.carlplumer.com/862/writing-and-rejection
"The Fast Yes and the Slow No" 
Wordy Birdy's selection of rejection posts: http://cleverbirdy.blogspot.com/search/label/rejection%20letters
And words of wisdom from Jane Yolen: http://janeyolen.com/for-writers/

To ePub, or not to ePub...

I'm sure you have noticed there has been quite a buzz lately about self publishing for e-books- I certainly have anyway! And what perfect timing it is, because Hubby and I have been in the market for a tablet, and all of our research on the topic has coincided rather nicely.

Which is good, because I don't really enjoy doing research for a techie product. I do have to admit that this is something I'll need to know a lot about, because the future of children's books are indeed a techie topic. So I wondered, which product should we buy... the iPad? the Xoom? and what about all the other new tablets whose-names-I-do-not-yet-know coming out, (nearly daily, it seems like)? And what about self publishing in an e-book format? How do I feel about that little controversy?

I had to think hard about what all of this e-pubbing means to me, and what kinds of tools I am looking for. We have smart phones, iPods, and various laptop/netbook/computers. And I really do prefer books in their floppy, flippable, stinky-paper form. So why do we need a tablet, anyway? (Other than to satiate my Better Half's undying quest to collect all things plug-able?)

• Well, for one thing, it's a super duper handy tool to show off one's portfolio. I've been hearing that artists all around have started using them, and with good reason. The clarity of the images is quite amazing! It is lightweight, small, and (unlike a laptop or netbook), it boots up instantly. No waiting time!  I also won't be wasting as much ink and paper for printing (which always comes out the wrong color). And I'll be able to wow my clients in a superhero kind of flashy way!
  
• Bloggers will appreciate the larger screen and built-in camera that are seamlessly integrated with one another, (although the missing keyboard might lead me to use a computer instead. I refuse to buy a keyboard, and I'm pretty cozy here at my desk.)
  
• With the popularity of the iPad and e-books, e-reader apps are available for everyone to use. So there truly is a market for children's books on these devices. Where else can you find sounds, animation, and little games hidden within a picture book? Only on a computer, which is less travel friendly and harder to use for little fingers. But with a touch screen? Only on a tablet, my dear reader.
  
• Also, if I do consider e-pubbing one day, I will need the actual tool to test it on. I will have to see what in the market is selling, which can be best viewed on... you guessed it, a tablet.
  
• Plus, Angry Birds is so much easier to play when you can see the whole screen in one shot. (I'm just kidding!! Actually, no, I'm not... but that isn't the reason why I'm in the market for one.)

And although there are plenty of people out there who are pro self-publishing and against Big Publishers, or are pro Big Publishers and against self-publishing, or even stuck right in the middle with no idea what to think about all this (like I've been for a while)- I have finally come to my own conclusion! *ta daaaaaaa!* (now would be a good time to toss some glitter up in the air)

It's just another medium. *gAsP!*

There, it's out in cyberspace now, let's see how long it takes to get around. The arguments people are having over traditional publishing versus self e-publishing are the equivalent of me saying that "Acrylics are the proper medium with which to illustrate a picture book, and anyone who uses Watercolors are not taking this job seriously."

Yes, I know, watercolors are awesome! But there are just some things that they cannot accomplish, like being waterproof. And acrylics are awesome too, but sometimes the job just really needs the delicate wash of a watercolor. Why can't we all just get along, and use both?

For example: I have a picture book in dummy form that I am currently working on, sending out, and generally grinding my teeth over. I'm not planning on self publishing this book, in paper or digital form. Why not? Because of the art, my dear reader, the art! The style in which I am painting my story needs to be printed on paper, just like an oil painting needs to hang on a wall. I want my viewers to see the brush strokes and perhaps even trace them with their fingers, without moving a screen around in the process. That book is just meant to be a real tangible book! And I want to do my first-ever book the Classic way, through rejection letters and nail biting. It just feels like the way to go for me.

BUT- On the other hand, (or hoof, or hook, depending on whatcha got): I have another picture book (series) I have been twiddling around with, and because I think it would be really neat to illustrate it in a digital format, it would be even neater to publish it with all the bells and whistles and such nonsense. It's just downright fun! Why not make my character squeak each time you squish him? Or run off the page when you flick him? He's part of my imaginary world, and his character literally comes alive on the page. Who wouldn't want to take a tour of Hogwarts??? (By golly- I've just realized this! I hope they make that app someday! Or maybe it already exists!?! Must investigate...)

Anyways, that's my schpeel on the topic. I'm no Pro- heck, I'm not even published yet! But this blog is all about my journey, and why I come to certain conclusions, and the HOW of it all. It may or may not help you with your own agenda, but I betcha these links will do the job just dandy-fine:

Amanda Hocking's story (be sure to read the comments- very insightful!)
Nathan Bransford's response (again, the comments here are also quite ravishing)
More Authors... 
Should You Self Publish? 
The Economics of Self Publishing
E-Book History 'n stuff 
ePub
Lulu Self Pubbing and Book Printing 
Best Kids' Book Apps
And just for fun :)

As you do your own research, let me know if you find any more of these lovely gem-like links, so I may share them here in this post. The comment box is ready for you!

As always, thanks for reading! :)

p.s. I found some more links since I've posted... so here they are! (last edited 3/22/11)
Indie vs. Traditional
how-to-create-an-ipad-compatible-ebook-for-free
best-practices-for-amazon-ebook-sales
A Newbie's Guide to Publishing
Smashwords Blog
ebookapprentice.com
Pigs, Gourds, and Wikis
indesign-to-ebook-resources
Technology & Reading Devices by Elizabeth O. Dulemba!

Time Flies When You're an Aspiring Children's Book Artist

I've been thinking a lot (I know, risky of me isn't it?) lately about how much I have changed, and my life's direction re-routed, over the past year. I think it is because it was around this time last summer when I had decided to really DO something with my life and my talent, and I still can't believe it is happening!

That lazy summer morning, when I was thinking about signing up for classes at RISD to achieve one of my life's dreams (which was becoming a RISD student), I said to myself, "What the hey, might as well check it out anyhow," who'd have thought that I would also find my life's calling?

And since that time, I have almost completed my RISD CE Certificate requirements, established myself as an online presence, made a TON of new friends, written a final and complete children's book manuscript (as well as many others that are not so complete), started a crit group, turned my spare room into a studio, became a member of SCBWI, read every book I can find on the topic, and I am still learning and loving it all!

*sigh* I am SO glad I finally decided to follow my dreams!  :)